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Navigating the Ups and Downs: Understanding and Managing the Psychological Effects of Breast Cancer
- Heather Robinson Roles
- Jun 10, 2024
- 8 min read
Updated: Jun 11, 2024
Hello friends! Welcome back to "Grace, Grit, and Pink Ribbons," the new resource site for all things breast cancer.
Today, I want to chat about the emotional roller coaster that comes with a breast cancer diagnosis and share some of my personal tips on how to navigate it with grace and a smile. I want you to understand, though, it's okay not to have a smile every day. The journey is hard, and you need to give yourself the time and space to navigate the feelings you will absolutely have during this. Even those of us who are seasoned experts in disguising our feelings have a tough go of it some days. Enter this experience with love and acceptance as you go through one of the hardest experiences you will ever have to face. If you are a caregiver, understand that your feelings in all of this are real, but your loved one is changing and becoming a person they never thought they would have to be.
Someone said to me in my initial diagnosis that they were sorry I was going to have to prove how strong I really was, and if I am being honest, there are times I didn’t think I was going to make it through to the point I am at now. Hold onto each other through this, but also understand that you will each have your own feelings and experiences that will never be understood by the other. Lead with love, and you will get through it.
The Psychological Effects of a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
Getting the news that you have breast cancer is like being thrown into a whirlwind. Suddenly, life as you know it changes, and a whole new set of challenges comes rushing in. Let’s break it down. I think initially, the shock comes into play, along with fear of the unknown. Initially, when you are told you have cancer, you don’t know all the details yet.
All I knew is that I had breast cancer. How bad it was, what stage it was at, and all of that was not known until after surgery. You are on your own to deal with your own control methods, whether it's searching online, conducting research, imagining the worst-case scenarios, crying, or feeling panicked. You become an insane version of yourself because you just don’t know what the outcome is going to be. So lets unpack it a bit. So you can understand what is happening, and perhaps those around you can understand why you have all of a sudden become an absolute nut case.
1. Anxiety and Fear: Picture this: you're on a roller coaster, and you can't see the track ahead. You are going uphill, and you know it is going to drop any minute, but you just can’t see what is lying ahead. That's what the initial anxiety and fear can feel like. Worrying about what the treatments will be, how bad it is, the future, whether you actually have one, what your husband and child will do if the worse case is your path. Everything in between can make your heart race like never before. But just like any roller coaster, you eventually get to know that there will absolutely be another drop, another twist, another turn, and unexpected bump, just like that ride, this too will have all of that, and more.
2. Depression: Some days might feel like a gloomy raincloud is parked over your head. The physical toll of treatment, combined with the emotional upheaval, can make everything seem a bit grey. It's okay to have these days – they don't last forever. The depression is something to keep an eye on though. There have been days I been disappointed to have woken up in the morning. They are days I thought that my family would be better off if I was gone. There are still moments, even now at the tail end of my treatment, that I still like to be alone and wallow in what I have been through. Being with people isn’t something I want to do. I have to start my mornings with intention, and purpose. Some days I have to force myself just to get dressed and go outside. These are things that are normal. But can spiral fast. If you can, enlist a social worker or therapist through your cancer center. Mine has been instrumental in helping me navigate through all these feelings.
3. Identity Crisis: Hair falling out, scars from surgery, Swelling and gaining/losing weight – it's a lot to take in. You might look in the mirror and not recognize the person staring back. I am reminding regularly that my beauty and worth aren't tied to your hair or your scars. I’m told they tell a story of strength and survival. This is a work in progress for me.
I am still very uncomfortable looking in the mirror. Even though my hair is growing back, I have good colour, the swelling is starting to reduce, I still don’t recognize the person in the mirror. I feel like a shell of who I was. What has helped me a bit are programs like, Look Good Feel Better. Teaches you how to care for your skin and apply makeup to enhance your features and make you look a bit better. This has helped. I think my next major hurdle is finding clothes that fit me and look feminine, pretty and make me feel good. I can’t go out and spend a fortune on a new wardrobe, but finding clothes that help me feel better about myself has been a struggle. I think at some point, once I can, I would like to find someone to help me dress my new body. I fully believe that taking a step out of my comfort zone, will eventually help me overcome these feelings. However, I am taking my own advice, and giving myself grace and time to do this when I am ready.
4. Isolation: Even with a supportive circle, you might feel like you're in this alone. It’s like everyone is on a different wavelength and doesn't quite get what you’re going through. You get angry, because everyone is out living their own life. You are stuck at home, not feeling like seeing anyone, but upset that no one is visiting you. The balance between wanting to go out, but not wanting to go out, being afraid to get sick or catch an infection, It’s a daily struggle. And for carers, wanting to be busy, not able to leave you alone but not wanting to be in your space. There are a lot of feelings and being alone seems to be your only choice. Here’s the spoiler though: you're not alone, and there are others who understand exactly how you feel. This is where online communities can be beneficial. Becoming part of a group of people who are going through or have been through all of this. Take the time to journal. I was given the suggestions to write down a list. Two columns. 1 of things that I can control and 1 of things I can't control. I found it helped me with my unrealistic expectations and timelines. I sometimes need to do it multiple times a week. There's no shame in that. Some of us are a bit stubborn.
Coping Mechanisms
Alright, enough with the heavy stuff. Let’s talk about how to sprinkle a little sunshine on this journey, put a little pep back in our step, turn the frown upside down, as much as we can:
1. Mindfulness and Meditation: Think of mindfulness and meditation as your personal spa day for the mind. Just a few minutes a day can help you find your calm amidst the chaos. Breathe in, breathe out, and let those worries float away like bubbles. There are so many you can listen to on youtube or spotify. Simple meditations that can help with pain management and the mental battle. Start small. 5 – 10 minutes a day. Then move up to 20 minutes. Also, taking time for prayer. Meditate on Gods love and hold him close and know that even when you feel alone, you aren’t alone. His love will surround you always.
(Just as an FYI, I am working on a few of my own meditiations that will be available on my website soon…keep an eye out)
2. Counseling and Therapy: Talking to a therapist can be like having a chat with a wise friend who always has your back. Mine tells me like it is. She actually said to me the first session, that there will come a time when she can tell me “I told you so”. In relation to feeling like this will never be over. They’ll help you untangle those knots of worry and find your inner peace. So my last word on this, Find a Therapist!
4. Physical Activity: Exercise can be a mood booster. This is something I was told from the very beginning. Keep moving. This is something I am only starting to do again. Short walks, some stretching. My pain and weakness has been debilitating, so it has been an effort to just get up a lot of days. But, If you can, and when you can, just get moving!
Whether it’s yoga, a short walk, or some stand up sit downs on your couch, get moving! Exercise Tips for Cancer Patients
5. Creative Outlets: Channel your inner artist! Painting, journaling, or even crafting can be wonderful ways to express your emotions and find joy. It’s about letting your creativity flow and seeing where it takes you. Those of you reading may know, that I used to be a floral designer. It is something that I think about starting again. It gave me a sense of peace. It was like meditation in itself. This blogging is an outlet. I’ve been designing some t-shirts. Anything that gets your creative juices flowing can really channel those emotions.
6. Nutrition and Self-care: Nourish your body with good food and your soul with self-care. Treat yourself to a bubble bath, read a good book or watch a good movie. Do some daily devotionals and keep strong in your faith. Little acts of self-love go a long way.
I crave fruit. Dehydration will happen, so fill your body with good water and good nutrients. Up the protein, keep the fiber intake up.
Here is something for alkalized water that has been recommended to me.
Keep an eye out for my digital download for healthy snacks for cancer patients.
Expert Advice on Mental Health During Treatment
Below are some wise words from medical professionals on maintaining mental well-being during treatment:
Dr. Sarah Mitchell, Clinical Psychologist: "Be your own best friend. It’s perfectly normal to have bad days. Celebrate the small victories and remember, you're doing an amazing job."
Lisa Roberts, Licensed Counselor: "Surround yourself with positive vibes. Lean on your loved ones, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Mindfulness can be a great way to stay grounded."
Dr. James Larson, Oncology Psychologist: "Mental health is just as important as physical health. A mental health professional can offer strategies tailored to your unique journey."
Moving Forward
Navigating the psychological effects of a breast cancer diagnosis is a significant part of the journey. With a little work and attention, you can handle anything that comes your way. Remember, you’re part of a community that’s here to support and uplift you. I hope to have more resources available for you shortly. So sign up to my mailing list to be notified of anything new.
Stay strong, stay resilient, and keep resting in those positive vibes.
With love.
Heather
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